Photo Credit oskay (Flickr)If you are expecting another post about the coming election, you're not getting one. Nope - I'm back to bipolar. Just so you know....
The rock is heavy on my shoulders. My legs are shaking under the weight.
I've got that feeling. That feeling in my gut. Anxiety. Tension. The lump in my throat that doesn't go away. The ease and speed with which I cry.
Thursday night, I made 5 dozen muffins for a school coffee - pumpkin cheesecake and whole wheat ginger pear. Did I have to make that many? OF COURSE NOT!!!!!!! The teachers were happy, though - they get what the parents don't eat. Never hurts to have the teachers on your side. ;)
Today, I've been cleaning lots more than I normally would on a Saturday, and I'm avoiding family and friends.
Another manic episode seems to be in my near future. Yuck. I'm already anticipating the crash down the mountain.
Of course, it doesn't help that every day, per Evil Boss's instructions, I'm training away more and more of my job.
It also doesn't help that my job interview yesterday went poorly (you pretty much know you are not going to be hired when they talk in the interview about how you are overqualified for the job). Funny - I don't think I even want the job, but the fact that they probably don't want me shakes my confidence in a way that it would not if I were doing OK.
DANGER - Seth will be out of town all week on business. I see lack of sleep in my future.
Thank you, Sara at MySadAlterEgo, for helping me see that this is coming. It's a reminder that I might need to get out some extra of what Dr. Shrink Wrap (bless him) calls my FRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEND to help me through.
On a positive note, I'll probably have a really clean house. And maybe I'll get to read lots of blog posts I haven't gotten to read, but want to. For now, off to laundry and kitchen cleaning.
For now, I'm off to do laundry and clean the kitchen......
3 comments:
WAit, what's your FRIENNNNND? I think I missed something.
Oh, maybe I didn't post about it.
Basically, Dr. Shrink Wrap has told me that if things get this way, that I should take 1/2 of one of my pills. (used to be 1/2 extra, but at this point, I only take it when things are shaky or bed).
One thing that has been very helpful in his care providing is that he recognized my need to feel in control. And now that I have stabilized on my meds, he feels I can understand when to add a little of this. Also, I know when I can stop.
When things weren't working for me, I craved this kind of control, but he knew better than to let me have it because I wouldn't have known what to do with it.
((((hugs)))), Sis.
I know October is a hard month for you b/c of Seth's major travel schedule.
Call me or email whenever if things get really shaky. I'm here. And since I just went through some weird little half-cycle myself, all of my thinking skills are on top of my kit and my mind has calmed down enough to be a good listener.
I am sorry that your interview didn't go according to plan. Is it possible to tell potential employers that you think your formidable skills would benefit their company and although they might think you "overqualified" at the outset, you believe you would be a good fit and a happy employee for reasons A, B, and C? Including schedule desirability and not having to work with Evil Boss anymore.
Just thinking aloud via keyboard.
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