Making Shabbat

Photo Credit: blmurch (Flickr)

This afternoon, Ruth asked me to make challah with her. I'd never done it with her - in fact, it has probably been longer than she's been alive since I made a yeast bread. Hard to believe given how much baking I do. Anyway, I was thrilled that she wanted to make it with me today. Once he heard what we were doing, David was excited to join in the fun.

Anyway, if you've never done it, most yeast baking requires not much active effort, but lots of down time - I think a lazy afternoon is best for challah. An afternoon when you have time to read a book play games, write a blog post or take a short nap while you wait for the dough to rise. You name it - anything that relaxes you. Then you can enjoy your sweet, eggy bread hot out of the oven at dinner (or before if you can't wait). Leftovers (if you have any) are perfect for French toast the next day.

I could see gathering with a group of like minded bakers (with or without kids) on a Friday and communing over our challah making during the afternoon. We'd give each other tips about how to make the best challah as we'd hang out all afternoon (naturally, the loaves I make with Ruth and David are the best). Maybe we'd play cards. Maybe we'd just drink tea. Maybe someone would teach me to knit, and I'd knit with him/her.

We'd be making Shabbat while we are making bread together in the hours leading up to when Shabbat actually starts.

Today has been a perfect challah day. Ruth and I played countless hands of Uno (that girl really plays a heck of an Uno game). She and Seth worked on a jigsaw puzzle. David read for hours. We had an excellent Genius playlist going. I even had some spontaneous eruptions of dancing in the kitchen as I washed dishes and in the dining room as I folded laundry (I actually happen to find both dish washing and laundry folding relaxing).

Contrary to the way we're doing it, I am sure that observant Jewish women spend the "down time" of Challah making frantically preparing all the food for the coming Shabbat when they are not allowed to cook from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. The good news for me is that I have the luxury of doing challah my way.

Given my last post about not feeling my roots, today's baking with Ruth and David was just what I kneaded. (ok, sorry about that one - couldn't help it).

Sunrise on the Mountain (?)

Image Credit: johntrainor (Flickr)

For better or for worse, it's official! Dr. SW released me to return to work with a return date of March 31. The day after my appointment, I sent an e-mail to evil boss informing her of my resignation. It took her over a week to respond, but as of yesterday, she accepted my resignation.

Friends tell me that I should feel free, like the sun is rising on my mountain. But now, somehow, I am as unsteady as the tippy top of a tree swaying in every direction in a blustery wind against my mountain. The ground is far from me. I'm aware that somewhere far below I have roots in the ground, but I can't feel them.

I feel like I ought to know where I'm going, but I don't. Is it the economy or is it the fact that I can't form clear ideas in my head beyond taking care of the kids and the in-laws and exercising?
I know I have to come up with something to do for profit while the kids are in school - I just wish I knew what to do. Too many things interest me and I too easily talk myself out of all of them.

On the good news end of things, I seem to be appropriately medicated now. I can walk in a straight line. I can concentrate most of the time on things I read. At least I'm getting my butt up and exercising. So perhaps I should allow myself celebrate that.

Too bad my greatest skill, perhaps, is self flagellation. And you can't pay the mortgage with that.

She's comin' 'round the mountain, here she comes...

Photo Credit: renatotarga (Flickr)

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, here she comes;
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, here she comes;
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain, she'll be comin' 'round the mountain, she'll be comin' 'round the mountain when she comes.

I remember that song from when I was at summer camp, and it seems apt now given my long time away from Bloglandia.

After letting y'all know how ashamed I was of myself, I left and went around to the other side of the mountain. Hiding there in a dark place. Sliding down the steep hill and around to the back where those of you who saw me here couldn't see me.

I left because after my online confession, things didn't improve. I got more and more depressed after my last post. Then they got crazy. (Forgive me Sophie for repeating the story).

Long story short... it seems like my meds had built up in my system to overdose level. That plus a new med introduced may have something to do with it.

What happened...
Small things in the month prior in addition to the stuff I mentioned in my last post - my hands sometimes shook so badly I couldn't use them. I fell twice down the stairs. From time to time (a whole lot more often than usual), I couldn't find the right word for things - and I'd say bizarre things. I startled way to easily.

Then, a couple of days before the last straw, I ran into a (thankfully empty) garbage can with my car, knocking it over along with the passenger side view mirror. Luckily, the kids and I survived without a scratch.

Then came the REALLY SCARY DAY when I arrived at school with the kids and just knew things were NOT OK. I think God was watching over me because we all go there safely. I say this because when I got there, I couldn't walk and struggled to talk. It was worse than being dizzy. I was shaking and felt completely out of control. I was hanging on to my car to move and when I had to let go, I nearly fell to the ground.

One of the other parents saw me and came immediately to help. Then 2 parents propped me up and took me to the principal's office (I laugh now about being sent there) where they made me drink Capri Sun (ick) thinking it was a diabetic thing. So off to the docs I went for a major adjustment in meds. That plus 2 days in bed did me a world of good.

This was about a month ago. And I've gotten better and better since then. But for some reason, I've had trouble putting together a long post, and I haven't given myself permission (?) to post just a little bit without explaining my absence or EVERYTHING that happened in between that post and now.

I think the longer I go without posting, the harder it is. Kind of like exercise (oh yeah- I have to get back to that too). But I know blogging helps me, just like I know exercise helps me.

So I'm getting back on my horse.

I'm comin' 'round the mountain here I come.